lost

i dont know what to do anymore. everything just seems like it falls out of place everytime i try to see the positive side of things. i just can't take it anymore. my anxiety is killing me and everything is making it worse. i really feel like i've fallen in a rut and no matter how hard i try and how hard i plead i cannot seem to find my way out of it. it's like i'm trapped in my own little world banished from reality... i try and try and try to hold on but i just slip away. what does a person do without a means of transportation to do the important things in life? job, appointments, interviews, family functions.. and in the end i look like the bad person because i can only do so much to help myself.
for years my social anxiety has gotten worse and worse.. go to the doctor right? with what money. it's sad some days i can't even leave my house and nobody understands. not even the person i love and live with.
all i ask is where the hell is my break? ...before i hit my breaking point...